The Daunting Task of Removing Bad Habits During the Pandemic
I have toyed with the idea to write this article for quite some time and had a clear path of what I was going to write about, sat down in front of my computer and … let go. This happened not just once but several times and it started to really bug me. I am supposed to be good at putting the virtual pen to paper with regards to my thoughts and observations, after all this is my profession and main source of income.
But how exactly do you describe the feeling of being a bird with broken wings that can suddenly just walk around in a small and confined area?
The ongoing pandemic has had severe consequences for a lot of people and I consider myself very fortunate. While my possible work has been cut down significantly, I don’t depend on any income right now and can pay all bills. It was a strange transition from traveling the world to trips between the kitchen and the living room for someone that averaged more than 40 flights per year since 2016.
After attending events in Australia, Spain, and the Philippines in the first two months of 2020, I used the opportunity to grab my camera and visited Taiwan, as well as Japan, to discover new places. Many friends and family warned me that “the virus is in Asia, please be careful”. Yet I actually felt far safer over there because they were taking the situation seriously and had measures in place (in Taiwan, at least).
It was a great chance to feel free, released from all the stress, and surrounded by inspiring temples and a very rich culture. There was no need to check the emails for upcoming work and I even turned down events to finally take some time off. Little did I know what would follow after that and drag on month after month.
Back home, the first few weeks were devastating. The news was filled with one bad revelation after the other as Europe finally grasped the severity of the ongoing pandemic. All motivation to try out new things or get something constructive done was sucked out of me. One day seemed like the other and weeks passed, the inner frustration grew substantially.
There was a sudden burst of “you gotta do something” and I started some online courses to expand my knowledge. Can you guess how many of them I finished? Zero, quite obviously. It wasn’t for the fact that they were not interesting, the basics in Korean for example were very challenging.
Instead, I picked up some online work in my niche market, and late finishes at night resulted in a different lack of motivation. Once that first online festival had wrapped up, the uncertainty was bigger than ever as nobody knew what was going to happen. It was simply unpredictable whether or not live poker would return anytime soon and several players even bet on it to feed their need for hustle.
Expectations are the angel and devil on your shoulders
Around that time in spring, I was disappointed by someone that I really cared about. And to be honest, it remains a mystery until now if there was much of a reason to feel sad or not. Two bad habits — they can also be traits — came together, as I was having expectations and cared too much. Whether or not those can and need to be fixed are an entirely different story but if the year 2020 has taught us anything, it’s the fact that we should take nothing for granted, and having expectations is a delicate luxury.
Something had to change and since the options were rather limited, a look in the mirror seemed to be worth a shot to avoid dropping into depression. I first sought help from a friend and we went on a hiking and sightseeing trip in Romania and Austria. It was fulfilling and frustrating at the same time during ten days of exploration because I was a shitty friend.
While I had been hiking before, I never did that on mountain trails and was dumb enough to not even try brand new shoes before using them to climb up hundreds of meters. Being totally out of shape didn’t help either and it led to plenty of bickering and bitching. The frustration showed and that most certainly is another bad habit of mine that needs repairing.
It was worth the effort for sure in order to gaze over the landscape from 2,500 meters and see the sun go up and down while only two other people were within close proximity. It also turned out to be a valuable lesson after all as I had to realize that the body needs to be fixed first before trying to heal the soul.
After taking in some advice from several friends that have been eating very healthily throughout the last few years, I started changing my nutrition and it came in quite handy that the fridge was nearly empty. Tempting sweets went into the trash and the oil sent down the drain, replaced by plenty of vegetables. It was about time to get rid of most sugary stuff and stevia extracts became the replacement. Perhaps, the coffee is not as sweet anymore but still tastes pretty decent.
There are low-fat options in the supermarket but you have to look carefully
In terms of grocery shopping, it was quite an eye-opening experience to pay attention to the nutrition values on the packaging while hunting for low-fat solutions. With regards to the yogurt and grains, that turned out to be quite tasteless but berries, honey, and nuts came to the rescue to make it bearable. Some of my favorite sausages and local meat products were oversaturated with fat, which was probably the hardest to cut down on.
Carbs were another difficult topic and I tried several bread types before getting rid of them. Our supermarkets have some small crispy slices of bread and they contain several of the needed vitamins. The package is a mere 125 grams, which is still plenty in case a hunger attack comes around the corner. One of my favorite solutions is certainly a mixed salad with plenty of vegetables and I have tried various different cabbages, Bok Choy (a type of Chinese cabbage) has become the usual suspect.
Especially the first few weeks on that new diet were not thrilling at all and the realization to have eaten way too much on a daily basis previously more or less represented a slap in the face. Early in 2019 I peaked at 94 kilos and was shocked, to say the least, then dropped to around 91 kilos when 2020 kicked off. After essentially being stuck at home for the past six months, that number has since dropped to around 81 kilos and I have lost 10% of my body weight in the process.
Fitness as a key factor — consistency wanted
Quite obviously the change in nutrition and becoming more aware of what to eat is just one part of the equation. Regular fitness is also vital for the overall balance and I was able to increase the repetitions for several exercises by more than half. However, there is still a lack of consistency for sure and that is one habit to get rid of in the weeks and months to come.
“You need to do a lot of fitness to get a six-pack” was the subtle hint of my advisor, who happens to have one and also requires a gun license for her upper arm muscles. Since she is a professional massage therapist, that doesn’t come as much of a surprise though and I don’t necessarily see that happening for me. While I don’t want to lose a lot more weight, improving on the BMI and body fat percentage are certain goals that can be accomplished with the necessary dedication.
A new mountainbike urges and invites to more trips in the fresh air until the winter kicks in, from there on it will all be about the “home gym”. You don’t need a lot of space to get things done and I learned to appreciate the versatility of an elastic band. Push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, planking, and various exercises for the abs will hopefully become a part of a regular routine.
Oh Yin and Yang where art thou
Once the physical balance has been restored to a satisfactory level, I might carefully dive into meditation again. Previous attempts were not crowned by success and I found it quite difficult to concentrate without any relaxing background music. By no means do I consider myself a spiritual person either but various bracelets and necklaces successfully gathered my attention during the last years of travel.
Perhaps the biggest step will be accepting to be imperfect, which is quite a contrast to the work ethos of being a perfectionist and always going the extra mile. It’s going to be a road filled with many obstacles and challenges, for which I may not be ready yet. All the progress made so far would be worthless if the path ended right here.
There is a common saying: “Your home is where your heart is.” Right now I certainly feel homeless in that regard but with some luck and a lot of dedication, that location will be revealed.
Namaste.